It's been such a long time since I posted any entries in this Diary, not because I haven't wanted to and not because I don't care about it anymore, actually the opposite is true, I care about it so much that I've become almost frightened of it, hope that makes some sense?

My life has been weird really since I last had a really good chat with you, a lot of things have changed - some for the worse, some for the better. I still live in the Cotswolds but no longer share the house with my friend, if you remember I came to stay for about a week with a friend and it turned into years? Well, he has moved in with his girlfriend and now lives about an hours drive away. I live on my own with my gorgeous and adored Westie - Wesley. He means so much to me and has become a faithful companion. Of course I would also have liked a faithful husband but as you know I wasn't very fortunate with that one. He incidently is... as far as I know... still with his ......ummm what shall I call her, husband stealer? yes that will do! lol. I say as far as I know because I never hear from or see him he has COMPLETELY cut all ties with me. It's as if he has told himself and convinced himself that we never existed. This of course is very hard to deal with, but what can I do? I can't force him to be different so I try not to think about him. However he appears in my dreams almost nightly which is really frustrating and upsetting, it's like no matter how hard I try my mind won't let me get away from him!

I spend a lot of time working on my Web Sites both my OCD one and my Graphics one, also this Summer I have been doing a lot of Gardening!! and I actually enjoy it! Along with Wesley who does his best to help me by sticking his nose into everything I do! lol.

My OCD is about the same, maybe a tiny bit worse at times but I continue to try to control it, I will tell you more about this tomorrow, I need to go to bed now, but I felt the urge to write something here, somebody wrote me a lovely letter asking me to continue with my Diary and told me how they miss it, so if it helps even just one person, I know it is worthwhile me writing my thoughts down.

I will write some more tomorrow, nite all, Hugs Sani